Sick of Crap

You know, life is pretty bad when you suddenly wish you would've went through with killing yourself a few years ago. My life's not bad. I mean I've got a great guy, I'm going to a good school, I can "tolerate" my job, and I actually know people care for a change. When you're told though by someone who's supposed to care the most that they don't care anymore- it makes all else seems like nothing. The thing is I didn't think I cared all that much about this person and what they think considering how this person does tend to treat me, but I really do. It makes me feel like nothing. Pointless. Like I really should have killed myself when I wanted to. I don't want to because of all the other people who do say they care- especially Matthew. I'm just so sick of crap. You know, it's worse when all this had to do with a stupid car and a senseless "rule" and a forgotten "promise". I love this person, surprisingly, but as soon as I get my chance- I'm gone!