If I Could Go Back

"If I could change my past, I would have not ignored my instincts." Wouldn't it be nice if we could go back and change the decisions we made. How different would our lives be if we could redo at least one moment? I sometimes think about the mistakes I made. I sometimes try to presume how my life would be if I didn't choose the path I did. I was just thinking yesterday how different my life would be if I really had not had to pay the $6,000 I paid myself for the first two years of college. Would I still be driving my mother's Taurus. Would I have my own place? Or be rooming with friends? What size pants could I be wearing if I didn't go through that period of depression? Or handled the depression considering my weight gain? Would I still be alive if those guys wouldn't have run out of the restaurant to get us out of the car? If I hadn't been too scared to sing in front of those people, would I be pursuing teaching still? Would me and Matthew be together if I would've told that one guy I liked him too? Sometimes I think it'd be nice to go back and change something. I would love to change the fact that I always ignore when I had a "feeling" about someone. Maybe, I could have escaped the heartache of backstabbers and lies. Thing is, what all would have changed? Would it really be worth the chance to go back? If some how I ever have the opportunity to change my past, I don't think I'll take it. I mean I could change sins committed, but the lessons I learned would be lost. I could change the choices in friends, but I could also lose the experiences guiding my path. I could change my shyness, but I could lose the best thing in the world. Even though it may seem like a good idea to change things, if I could go back-- I don't think I would. The experiences of the past, shaped who I am today. I may not be the best person, but I can change with the knowledge I've gained.