Storms

Storms are all different. Some are sudden, some are short, some are long, and some are barelyrecognizable. You can have multiple storms at thesame time. Anything can be a storm to you. Confused?I'm not talking about weather storms. I'm talking about "Christian" storms. These are the times where a Christian's faith and loyalty are tested. I hate storms. More than the storm itself, I hate when I fail. I'm going through a couple of storms right now, but one is about to be my undoing. It's a five-year storm. I don't care anymore it seems. I'm tired of rollar coasters. I want to be right with God at all times. Thing is- this is impossible. My storm is helping drives these ideas along to where- i'm in Bible college, but there's no benefit. I'm not letting it benefit me. I came here to grow. I'm not. I want to be a good Christian- on my way to heaven, witnessing, doing right, and training to lead others. I'm so far from that. I know I'm a Christian. The Bible says, "Whosoever shall call upon the name ofthe Lord, shall be saved." I've done that. Thoughmy actions cause doubt- I've called, therefore I'm saved. Next problem- I don't feel saved. I know I love because I couldn't not love him and hate disappointing him. It wouldn't make sense. Just likeI hate hurting Matt because I love him. My idea is I hate hurting and I hate hurting him. I don't deserve his help and even if he does help me and I change it won't be for long- what is the point? My error- it is worse to be at odds with him my whole life than slipping up every once in a while. At the end, if I am at odds then I've done nothing for him with right motivations. If I strive to do right, and slip up- I'm just human. I need to get right with my Lord. I need to strive to serve him. Until I'm right with him, my storm will just get worse. I will continue to fail, continue to hurt, and continue to hurt others. Storms are torture, but a life apart from Him is far worse.

"I was sure by now God you would have reached down And wiped our tears away Stepped in and saved the day But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining
As the thunder rollsI barely hear Your whisper through the rain“I’m with you” And as You mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm And I will life my hands For You are who You are No matter where I am Every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand You never left my side And though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry You raised me up again My strength is almost gone How can I carry on If I can’t find You
As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain“I’m with you” And as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord The Maker of Heaven and Earth" (Praise You in this Storm- Casting Crowns)

WoL Testimony

this is a testimony i typed out for the Word of Life Ministry...

Word of Life has had such an impact on my life. God has used this program to mold and shape desires in me. My name is Kristina. I grew up for the most part of my life participating in Patch the Pirate Programs. In my fifth grade year my church decided they wanted to make a switch to the Word of Life Program. I was devastated. I loved the program we were already doing. For the first two years, I didn’t allow myself to enjoy the program. Once I entered the teens, however, this frame of mind changed. I loved Word of Life. I especially loved the Teens Involved Ministry. I have always loved competition and this gave me a chance to compete in areas outside of school. I was involved in each category I could be- drama, puppets, piano, poetry, choir, and eventually teaching. I had always wanted to be a teacher and Word of Life helped me begin building towards that goal and I saw I had a talent for it. I loved it. I am currently training at Piedmont Baptist College in Winston-Salem, NC. You’ll never guess what my major is—elementary education! I am going to be a teacher. This is not all, however. My youth pastor left in the middle of my senior year. I continued to participate in Teens Involved, but I, in effect, left the youth group to begin ministering in the gopher buddies program of Word of Life. This change also impacted my life. My freshmen year of college I joined back up with the gopher buddies as my ministry. This year was a great experience for me and God opened my eyes to the wonders of preschool age children. I am now, thanks to the Word of Life program, working to gain two degrees in a four year time-span. The first is still a Bachelors in Elementary Education, and the other is an Associates in Early Childhood Education. I accredit this decision to God’s working through the Word of Life ministry. I hope to continue working in this ministry for the rest of my life as I watch “my kids” be impacted for Christ as well.

My Teaching "Philosophy"

I have mentioned many times my goals and ideas about teaching or being a teacher. My reason for wanting to be a teacher is to inspire kids to make a difference in the world. In that, I can do my part making a difference in the world as well which is one of my main goals in my life. My salutatorian speech in high school was based on our class verse- "And having compassion, making a difference." This is how I look at teaching. I love kids. I am compassionate towards children. I want to make a difference in their lives. I can't prevent everything, but there are some things God can help me to prevent or just to be a help in my students' lives. My idea is to be a Christian school teacher. I have seen so many people come out of a Christian school and I seem to "scratch my head" in wonder at how these kids are the way they are coming out of a Christian school. In the end, it's not the school but the heart of the child. I know I can't change all, but if I can impact the hearts of some I'll feel as though I did accomplish something. I look forward to teaching. My teaching philosophy is simply- Have compassion and make a difference!

Summer '10

Sad to say but in about a week or so I will be heading back off to school. Well, who am I kidding? I'm not going "off" but I will be starting back. So, I wanted to go ahead and do my summer reflection now so that when I get even busier I will have done it still. LoL. Anyways. This summer has been crazy. I figured starting the summer that it would be alot different. I would'nt have that spiritual high like I did at camp those many years past. Well, I did have a spiritual high this summer. The Lord used a sin to get my attention. I will not share specifics because I am still so ashamed and you don't need specifics anyway. Just know that something I did God used in such a marvelous way that I did grow. Now, trick is keeping it up which I have slipped but I know he forgives me and I'm hoping to stay strong enough to do my part hoping my relationship with him will be stronger than ever by the end of first semester. In other words, New Years. I want my new years resolution this year to be, not necessarily to grow (which it will and should always be), but to stay strong. I'm tired of sinking down to the lowest of lows and then making a false resolution to grow. I want to be strong and become stronger instead of a sudden strong and then a sink. IDK if that makes sense and IDK what that has to do with summer. HaHa. Anyways. I have struggled and grown and learned all summer long. Healthwise I dealt with cyst which are still a problem but hopefully all will be ok. Grown as far as spiritual but am starting to slip so hopefully I can halt the slipping and get back to the growing. And learned as far as my job situation. It's been crazy so far financially this summer. My job has been no help and I'm farther away from buying a car than I was last summer. Mostly because I am indeed paying for my own college with a small monthly assistance from my father. It's not enough though, especially when your working 14 hrs a week when you could be pulling 40 hrs. But it's all good. It gave me the push I needed to get my name out to other companies and stores and even the registers..haha. So summer is ending but I want to leave on a positive note. I am trying to grow- PBC is calling. Chapels and multiple more opportunities to hear his word and learn more about Him. I am determined to become what He wants. It's gonna be hard, but I know if I strive to do my part He'll do his and help me. I'll miss the summer, but I look forward to what's ahead in a few wks although it does me, PAPERS!! haha.

The Cross

I've been thinking here lately- why do we only think about the cross around easter? I was doing some searching for a video that my pastor showed in church a few sundays ago that caught my attention. In all the searching I did most videos about the cross said something along the lines of- "Easter Video". Why is that? Why does the cross just have to pertain to easter? If you're really a Christian the cross pertains to all days of the year! Even if you not a Christian. The cross is not something to just reflect on once a year. Christ went through pain and suffering and torture for us to be able to spend eternity in forgiveness with our Father! Why should such a tremendous deed and act of love be thought of once an entire year! The cross is wonderful, it's mercy, it's forgiveness- it's not just a good thought once a year. I fall into this idea many times of not reflecting on the cross but once a year, but this needs to stop. He died to save us for eternity- why not think about it for eternity? "Oh the wonderful cross, oh the wonderful cross, bids me come and die and find that i may truelly live.." "Blessed redeemer, Precious redeemer, seems now i see him on calvary's tree. wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading, blind and unheeding, dying for me!"

The Biggest Mistake

Love is a wonderful thing. So is marriage. Marriage was created by God to be between a man and a woman to be a lasting permanent bond- spiritually, physically, emotional, and every way between. It is not something to enter in lightly believing that if it doesn't work oh well. I'm not the best person to speak on divorce and young love, but I'm not completely ignorant on the subject. Me and Matt have been dating 4 1/2 years. We love each other. It's so hard to be apart. We want to get married. We don't want to wait, but we understand how stupid it would be to get married this young. We have no money, no permanent jobs, no place to live- it is not wise to get married this young. Understand it tears us apart to not be together. We yearn for each others presence and comfort each second we're apart, but it would be stupid to enter in to the bond of marriage with nothing. It's so hard. I cry constantly because it hurst so bad. Thing is, I'd cry more about all the hardships we'll be facing if we were to get married so soon. Don't be surprised though if I do get engaged soon, but don't be expecting a few months later to hear wedding bells. The bells won't be ringing til a few years later. We may be able to afford an engagement but the marriage portion ain't happening yet..lol. So many times young love is heard of and it's wonderful. It's so strong. So surprisingly true at times. Most people shake it off and say it's not possible, but I'm here to say it is. Marriage though, is not a light thing. It's only meant for when you're ready and it's meant to be permanent. It's such a sacred union- please anyone be smart. Don't take marriage lightly!

July 4th~*

July 4th is a very important holiday to celebrate. Although I do not agree with where this country is going, it is our home. It's hard to turn your back completely on your home, no matter where your ideals lie. This country is not the best in the world. It is turning it's back on God so in my opinion it is doomed, but it's home. I hate the idea of my home being doomed, but it is true. I love this country because it's home. On this day it is important to reflect on those who have died and are continually fighting for the freedoms we hope to continue having. I love and respect all those in our military divisions. I hope and pray that this country can make a drastic turn around so that not only can we be safe, but also our brave, wonderful soldiers. For now all I can say is Happy Independence Day!!!!!!!!